Thursday, January 13, 2011
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Three years ago, I posted on my blog everyday. This blog fuctioned as a way for me to remember things. And hence I can still look back at all the weird things I did back then. As you can tell, I no longer blog everyday. Neither can you see any of my previous posts or anything I've posted years ago. To me, there are certain things which should remain in the past. And certain things which should never be brought up again.
So, will I blog everyday like I used to? Maybe, when I finally have things I wish to remember. I've had many wonderful memories. The most wonderful I have talked about. The feeling I had during SL lunch I no longer remember, however, I remember who I had that lunch with and I managed to write down my feelings on that day. I remember walking to Causeway Point with Jaron with the sun shining in at us on that day. I remember accidentally spilling coke, washing my hands with ice, watching turtles swim in the condo pond. And I'm glad I'm able to remember. Tomorrow, it'll be one year from that day.
In a short span of three to four months, I've experienced a whole range of emotions. You won't know how people feel when they are heartbroken until someone breaks your heart. You won't know how it's like to hate so much until you want to kill unless some event triggers that feeling. You won't know how it's like to love someone until you have someone to love. I don't know everything, but I've know more than what I used to.
There are many things I have today which I did not have this day one year ago. As some of you may know, I believe that everything happens for a reason. What is the reason for all the things that happened in 2010 I've yet to figure out some. There are certain things I've done which I question myself whether it was the right choice, but regret is not a word in my dictionary. In the end, the choice has been made and you can't change the past. You can only improve the present and hence change the future. Another thing I don't believe in is 'forever'. It's a word that applies to very few things. Once a year is gone, it's gone forever. However, when people say they want to be together, it's just a saying. We all know that it can't happen. We'll all leave this plain one day. That's why 'till death do us part' exists.
I can write my thoughts and feelings on this blog. But everything I won't write. As we all know, there are certain memories which we would rather keep to ourselves. And certain memories which we would rather forget or pretend didn't exist. Such memories have I. And forget these memories I shall attempt.
||あなたの怨み、晴らします。|| [10:33 PM]*